Dec. Roller Coaster
As we began the month of December, our lives started to feel the coming change and begin to feel more like a roller coaster. Steve preached his last sermon at Harvest which was a day we will never forget. To end a season of ministry with such love and a deep sadness of letting go was the first big drop in our roller coaster ride we had begun. If you have ever ridden a roller coaster you know the anticipation of that first drop. You are going up and up and slower and slower you realize there is no going back. You feel the coaster slowing almost come to a stop at the top and there is that brief moment when you catch your breath before you feel that drop. That was how that Sunday felt for me. We had been climbing up this hill slowly and slowly recognizing the change in our perspective as you do on that coaster if you are brave enough to look down and see how high you are and how little the people and things below are looking. I was loosening my grip on our possessions, routines, comforts. Beginning to look to Jesus more and more and less on my surroundings. Reading the scripture that God had breathed to guide and direct me and comfort me became the bar that I grip so tightly in that coaster car. Some may be like my husband and like to let go and lift your hands. I typically hold on super tight as if my life depended on it, and I scream as loud as I can and close my eyes. This moment at Harvest I grabbed on tight to the bar and started to feel the ride.
After the initial drop in a coaster, you begin a surprise of twists and turns and maybe even a loop. That is what this entire last month of this crazy unforgettable year of 2020 has been for us. We entered December and had unforgettable dinner with close friends where we were showered with love as they read together a liturgy of leaving, our last day at school, Noah and Steve got to go on their father-son 13-year-old trip, last Christmas in Memphis with family here, last trip to Florida with all the Winsteads. There were so many tears - tears of exhaustion, tears of being overwhelmed, loss of expectations for daily routine and even school for our boys that we have been for 10 years, tears for last Christmas traditions, tears of letting go of things I know. From deep deep moments of grief and sadness. The kind that you cannot breathe to moments of sweet joy in the Lord. I just happened to listen to a sermon one day as I was running - I know this was a moment God had set aside for me to hear from His Word-His care for me. It was a sermon from Psalms and crying our tears.
Listen to what God’s word says Psalms 126:5,6.
Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.
He began to show me how at Christmas He left His home of Heaven to be with us! I certainly can leave Memphis! Mary left her family to have a baby in a strange town. The wise men left their countries to travel to find this newborn King. The beginning of Jesus’ life was not easy for Mary and Joseph going to Bethlehem, fleeing to Egypt, and then returning to Nazareth. I serve a God who goes before me and is with me (Deuteronomy 31:7-8). Moving out and trusting the Lord reaps rewards that we would never have otherwise. I know this is just the kiddie coaster compared to the one that we will board this week. The emotions alone have been exhausting not including the packing. God loves me enough to send His one and only Son to live with us and be with us and die for us. As I write this I am beginning to see the sunrise - the other side of this coaster - a church that proclaims the gospel and is a light to the nations, a school full of teachers on mission to teach and train and share Jesus with the world, a Christian community that is serving the Jesus with their whole lives, new friends who have already cared and loved us so well by preparing our home and answering a million questions, a home with rose bushes, and the best of all - a daily dependence on Jesus. Jesus, Emmanuel, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.